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depresson
 So i passed all my midterms *thumbs up* even though one of them was stupid (half of it was hard as hell) and one of the other one's i just made stupid mistakes on.

Still looking for a job, if only i could get over my pickyness of what i want to do.

I've been having really wierd dreams lately about the people i do sparks and brownies with and they're really unnerving.

And as of thursday the countdown to christmas is on I dont know what the hell i'm gonna get ppl this year as they want presents way out of my price range. So im screwed again this year and most likely end up buying presents last minute.

I've been reading a lot more lately (which is a good thing for me) and surprise surprise the majority of the are about musicians, and I intend to read a lot more books about musicians as the majority of my christmas list is books and cds plus a few more cd racks to fit the cds on since three full/almost full racks clearly wont be enough.  

It's been awhile

depresson
So I'm heading back to school tuesday, excited to go and finish off the 3 classes I need to graduate with. However I have this feeling of hesitation about going back and I'm not quite sure why. Also I am going to start looking for a job more vigorously because I really need one. For some reason I'm really picky about what I wanna do and I don't know why I'm being so picky.

So now there is no brown owl for the brownie group I was with, she doesn't have the time because of school; this is her last year and she is trying to become a teacher so she has a lot more on her plate this year. I Fear that I may be sucked back into being a brownie leader when I know that at this point in time it's not for me, I feel that I would be a better asset dealing with the sparks age group because they still listen to a certain extent to the leader where as with the brownies rarely ever listening to the leaders I end up yelling at them because they wouldn't really listen to the former brown owl.

In other news I got my sister addicted to Gilmore Girls and she's all sad now that she's seen all of season 6 and wants to see season 7, however season 7 doesn't come out on DVD until November 13 and channel 21 isn't going to start showing it until mid-late september or even early october when the cw will be doing playing later season repeats. Also I still need seasons 3 and 5 of Gilmore Girls before I get season 7.

My rant for now

depresson
I still haven't found my keys, I either put them somewhere in the house so I wouldn't forget them and obivously forgot or they are out in the world somewhere because I haven't found them since the beginning of may which really fucking sux.

Also this past week I started working out I am now determined more than before to start losing weight. I've determined what I want to loose in a year and how often I am going to weigh myself and such and as long as I get near what I want to loss I'll be happy.

As for my list of things I wanted to do this summer I realized I have to take off the boat museum in selkirk as the boats are being repaired because of the flood earlier this year.

On Tuesday while at was at Kym's finishing up brownie books with a couple other leaders we talked about whether or not we wanted to stay with our current groups or not and I mentioned that I wanted to go be a sparks leader, Janel was a bit surprised that I wanted to leave but she didn't freak out as I thought she would, as she is not sure she wants to stay with brownies as well unless she has more help which might happen, and some of the sparks leaders are thinking about leaving as well. None of us were happy about hearing whats going on with the ranger unit, because Kym built up the ranger unit from pretty much nothing and now Bonnie comes in and starts changing things around by bringing in a new leader for two girls ( who) and the two girls are going to this big camp in B.C for some guiding event. Kym, Janel, Eryn and I were discussing using whatever ranger funds that are in the bank ( Kyms ranger unit hadnt had any rangers in it for a year so the money belongs to the now leaders who finished the ranger program last year and kym and janel) because we don't want the two girls who think they're entitled to this money (who haven't contirbuted to it) to use it towards B.C and Kym and Janel want to use the money to get Michelle and Karen their "ranger grad" presents and new backpacking gear.

Summer Time

depresson

So I babysat last night, got me some money and I feel the need to spend it even though I probably shouldn't until I find a job but hey it's the Red River Ex season and I wanna go (doesn't mean it will happen) but hey I can have dreams can't I. Also still trapping along in trying to find a job (still no luck finding one), and I still don't know where my keys are (missing for about a month and a half), which means I have to pull apart my goddamn room to find them.

Over the last week or so I've had the strangest need to go walk around cordyn and/or the forks just for the hell of it. I think just being outside walking around without any hassels or complaints may just help me focus on where I wanna go in my life and it helps me deal with pretty much anything.

And to end things off for now a list of things I would like to try and do this summer:

1) Go to the Boat museum in Selkirk
2) The pool in Selkirk
3) The Zoo ( and go on the train)
4) The EX
5) Go on the Red River Rouge
6) Go for more walks/maybe bikerides
7) Go to the Art Gallery
8) Go to the Museum of Man and Nature and go through the Town Display...........again
9) The Sals on the Penis Bridge
10) Get more Rock cds/records
11) Plays off of # 10 get intouch more with my need for music

and thats all for now

What a night

depresson

So tonigt was the last brownie meeting of the year with camp rounding everything off this weekend, and we (us leaders) did a bunch of camp stuff with the girls in preperation for it. So in the middle of making sit-a-pawns two men walked through the UNLOCKED back door into the basement, I quickly notice them and calmly got Janels' attention. She went over to the and started talking to them while leading them towards the front door while I got Michelles' attention and swiftly got the girls into one of the back rooms ( Michelle not realizing whats going on until we get to the back room). It was clear to Janel and I that the two men had been sniffing not to long before entering the church.

Now since about October or so right around the school shootings started making news we decided to lock the doors to the churh so no one can come in and hurt the girls, however the church choir people who practice on tuesdays sometimes leaves the back door unlocked without us knowing as it's usually always locked. These two guys could've gotten hostle with Janel or could have tried to get to the girls or us, and they could have had weapons on them and tried to harm/kill us, as people on drugs or sniffing everyday cleaning products are unpredictable.

So once the two guys left Janel went and locked the front and the back doors than went and talked to the church people upstairs and told them to keep the doors locked because we want to keep the girls safe. Now the spark leaders passed the same two men walking down the street (the sparks were selling cookies) and made sure the girls didn't get anywhere near them. Within minutes of the sparks leaders getting to one of their houses (who lives right down the street of the church) they told her mom about the two guys who had come in and from what I take of the situation got right on the phone with "Dan the Man" (the caretake of the church who deals with everybody who uses the church) and told him about the situation and will hopefull be able to do something.

Then Janel and I went to the sparks leaders house because her sister (who we've know for years *since i was about 5 or 6* was having a graduation party and we were invite) to relax and have some fun.

When I got home I was explaining what happened to my mom, sister and brother, and my brother asks ( at 17 no less) " What's sniffing?", now I get he was only six when we moved out of the city however from busing around the city less than a handfull of times and going to school in the city for two years now plus all the shit (some good) on t.v and in movies out now, I think he should have somewhat of a basic understanding of what sniffing is or at least have had someone already have exlpained it to him. My sister and I knew what sniffing was at a younger age than he is, I just want to go drop him off in the middle of the city and let him learn that he can't fuck around like he does now  and learn that the way he acts will get him an ass kicking in some areas of the city and to teach him that he's a nieve little prick who needs to straighten up.

Also, on thursday, friday (during the day) or sunday *hoping the doors aren't gonna be closed until the late evening* after camping I want to go to Wheelies before it closes (I'm hoping it happens)

Weirdness

depresson

So, I had one of the weirdest dreams last night. I was in another city with a bunch of people I know locked and kept in a room in this big house, by what seemed to be terrorists and something bad happened outside like a natural disaster or and explosion, and they people who were holding us hostige allowed shawna and I to leave. So when we got to the bottom of the stairs into the living area/front entrance of the house, we could tell that a bomb had gone off and there were people in the living room dying (some of who I knew) and shawna and I started putting a bunch of solar blinkets and other camp/survival stuff we might need to survive with into camping backpacks. As we were finishing that my mom pulled up and drove us somewhere.

Than that dream went into a dream of Ashley and I driving around with Dante and stoping at a bunch of places, like roxy park, a bar where her parents were but her dad wasnt actually her dad however he acted as if he had always been her dad since ever, than I woke up.

Stupid Brownie Leaders

depresson

Well tomorrow is our trade show, 2:30 to 4:30ish I believe the public can see it than from about 4:30 on is when the Judges and all the invited guests come to see our booths should be fun than our group may be goin out after.

So the meeting with the problem leader didnt go as well as I thought and even 2 of the sparks leaders agreed with me, it was made clear that I was to stay "in the box" which pissed me off and the fact that another one of our leaders who doesnt step up to the plate side with the problem leader which pissed us off. The problem leader was obviously uncomfortable with the talk and we didnt even start attacking her, and you could tell before we started talking about the problem with her she was uncomfortable, and we brought up how in the past she hasnt shown up with things to do with the brownies and not calling and she got all defensive and said "you cant bring up what I've done in the past" as in it's not relavent when it is, she has a history of not showing up and not calling with brownie stuff to do.  Lil', Laura and I all agree that I would have been the best person to deal with her becasue I get to the point and I dont bullshit around with anything and that I should email her up with it, while Kym and Janel were proud that I was able to stay "within the box". ARGGGHHHHHHHH the 2 slackers just piss me off.

to much stress

depresson
So one busy class is almost done while there are still a few others that still have a lot of work to do in them. E.P is almost done the tradeshow in the southgym is this thursday ( March 22) and then on April 2 a mondy 9 am we're doing our presentation in front of judge. In International Marketing my groups in class presentation is April 13, my Retail Management project is that same week and an assignement and a presentation in Advertising and nothing due in Law or Sociology which is awesome.

Also no luck in the job search as of yet, I'm to damn picky with what I want to do and I don't even know what that is yet.

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depresson
kerbear85
kerbear85

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